Bemidji!

According to the VISIT BEMIDJI website, Eastman Kodak recognizes these two guys as the most photographed landmarks in the U.S. It did not mention what is the first most. But who cares? I'm going to see these guys for the first time in I-don't-know-how-many decades on August first when I head up to Bemidji to read with Erin Lynn Marsh! (More info over on that sidebar to your right.)

I was born in Bemidji, and though we moved when I was seven years old, I have all sorts of formative memories. I expect the trip to be a lot of fun and to wig me the hell out at alternating invervals.

Luckily, I am traveling with my sister. We can wig out together, or support our separate wigging.

Still (fiberglass) Life with Greenstreets

O man. omanomanoman. Too good. Too happy. No words.

What I did on my summer vacation

Here's me lounging around glutting on entire books while other members of my family did active summer lake things. Later, I did some active summer lake things, too.

My friend who lives in Seattle was just a few lakes over visiting her family, so we met in Detroit Lakes for lunch at this restaurant called Zorbaz that replaces everything uzually zpelled with an "s" with a "z". One of the waitresses wore a t-shirt that read "thirzt nurze". I'm freaking zeriouz.

We were going to meet at a place called the Lakeside Tavern, but we couldn't get in because the band Warrant was setting up. Warrant:

Here's the famous Frazee turkey in sad shape. Somebody hates fiberglass statuary. Or turkeys.


And the ______________ loon. I forget which town. Do you know?

When one leaves the city for the north country, there's the interesting and somewhat pastoral: Amish folks selling handmade lawn furniture in Dairy Queen parking lots, everybody waving at everybody else when they pass, the occassional llama farm. Then there's the creepy undercurrent of anti-choice billboards littering the highway sides and extra seedy "gentlemen's" clubs just outside the small city limits.

A couple years ago my niece snapped a photo of a beauty salon's sign which read "Free Mullet Removal. Buzz Cuts Five Bucks." This trip, we ate in a diner with a sign which read, "She cleans the house, why not the fish??"

But there was some very decent family time to be had. And I plowed through Egger's "Heartbreaking Tale..." and most of "The Noise of Time".

And now I am home.

Twin Cities Photo Project #1

I guess 14 feet tall was an overstatement, for those who I've told about these roosters. But 9 feet, easy.

I have been passing these guys for a couple of years now; they stay in a little yard ornament shop a couple miles from my home. And while I can't imagine the yard they would be absolutely beautiful in, that may just be a lack of imagination on my part.

Recently, I've been thinking about these guys in a new light. Here's my logic: if I had them hanging around in my front yard, I just feel like robbers would take a look and say, "Huh. I bet there's nothing in that house that we want." Or, at least, it would be a select group of robbers who'd be drawn to them.

(These are not fiberglass statuary, by the way. They seem to be formed from some type of resin.)

I would also like to point out that it was warm enough today for me to exit my car just to take photos of giant plastic chickens. that's melting snow on the sidewalk! Melting!

YESSSSSS!!

You may have to scroll a bit, but I hope you'll be as relieved and elated as I am that Jon Pack approves of giant fiberglass statuary.

I lopped my hair off into a long bob and dyed it black. I feel like Siouxsie Sioux-Tyler-Moore.

The Crow on the Left Weighs 3,000 Pounds

I am going to suffer yet another insufferably bad photo of me to share this piece of fiberglass statuary with you all. I have made reference to the world's largest fiberglass crow on many occassions but had not, as yet, coughed up proof.

This is another of those combinations that just slays me. You see, my bird fetish is well-documented, but my strong feelings in favor of large fiberglass statuary has remained somewhat private. It took me a while to come to terms with it.

See, what I believe to be my very earliest memory is this: one of my parents placed me on the mocassin of the statue of Hiawatha which looks out over Lake Superior in Ironwood, MI. My paternal grandparents lived there. The folks wanted a photo, so whoever put me up there stepped away from me to get out of the shot. I remember how nervous I felt because I thought I'd lose my balance and fall, and furthermore, there were some holes in the fiberglass where the mesh underneath was showing that I thought I could perhaps fall through. I have a physical memory of figuring out how to maneuver my limbs if I was compelled to have to crawl down myself. I was pretty sure I would not succeed without injury.

It was dread-inspiring and kitschy fun. I was on a big foot! I could plummet to my death!

I revisited that statue of Hiawatha a couple years back and was surprised to learn that the top of the foot is just about 18 inches long or so. This means I must have been a peanut when the photo was taken, less than a year old.

Plus, anyone who hasn't visited the midwest should know that almost every small town has its fiberglass mascot. These crows are in Belgrade, MN, by the way. (Plus I'd like to mention, it was 20 below zero, Belgrade is 2 hours from the Twin Cities, and the crows were our sole destination. Al and Johanna rock.) Where I was born, Bemidji, it was Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. There are giant carp, cowboys, snowmen, milkmaids. These, evidently, define something about us. And I used to be embarrassed of that. Can you imagine?

(photo: Al Iverson)

The intersection of Silly and Heartbreak

BERLIN (Reuters) - A swan has fallen in love with a
plastic swan-shaped paddle boat on a pond in the
German town of Muenster and has spent the past three
weeks flirting with the vessel five times its size, a
sailing instructor said Friday.

Peter Overschmidt, who operates a sailing school and
rents the two-seat paddle boat on the Aasee pond, said
the black swan with a bright red beak has not left the
white swan boat's side since it flew in one day in
early May.

"It seems like he's fallen in love," said Overschmidt.
"He protects it, sits next to it all the time and
chases away any sail boats that get anywhere nearby.
He thinks the boat is a strong and attractive swan."

Overschmidt said the swan will figure it out sooner or
later but hopes he won't be too heartbroken.

"I'll wish him all the best and hope that he doesn't
make the same mistake again," said Overschmidt."